Exceptional Christian

I’ve come across some trying days the last few months. Days that I wish would never come and I know there will be trying days ahead of me. I was reading through the book of Luke the other day and read in chapter 5 the story of Jesus when he calls his first disciples.

He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. Luke 5:3

So here’s Simon, who just came in after a long night of fishing that produced nothing as we will soon find out. He’s tired, he’s probably hungry and most likely discouraged. But here is Jesus and he steps into his boat.

Isn’t that like Jesus. He inserts himself right where we need him, right when we need him whether we realize it or not. I’m sure Simon was aware of who Jesus was, but wasn’t aware that he was the Messiah yet.

---

I’ve been aware of Jesus my whole life. There have been times when I’ve drawn close and times when I’ve distanced myself from him. But time and time again, Jesus comes and inserts himself into my life in ways that I’m unprepared for and in ways that I really don’t want to happen.

A few months ago, hours after hearing the words that I have cancer, Jesus inserted himself in a big way. He didn’t just climb into my boat, he climbed in, shoved me to the side and said “I’m in control now.”

I didn’t want this, but I had no choice….Jesus was driving the boat.

---

When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” Luke 5:4-5

Jesus finishes speaking and then turns to Simon, because he already knows what is troubling Simon. He knows the hardships that he has been through the night before and he knows that he’s ready to give up.

But Jesus was having none of it. Jesus knew what Simon needed to do. He needed to go out in deeper waters and put down his net.

Simon to his credit, did what Jesus asked of him, even though it didn’t make much sense.

---

So as I was laying in the hospital, waiting to get to my room, I was pretty mad. I didn’t want to go through this and I let God know that I was mad. I felt him speak to me in a still voice, that “This will be used for my glory.” And at that moment I felt a peace about me and as I was reading this passage from Luke, I imagine myself resigning myself to go to deeper waters and put down my nets.

---

When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. Luke 5:6-7

Simon, by following what Jesus had asked of him, was blessed beyond belief. Blessed beyond any logical comprehension he may have had. Jesus didn’t just bless them, he gave them an over-abundance of blessings.

---

Over the last couple months, God asked me to head to deeper waters and let down my nets. I’ve done my best, not always easy, but I’ve tried hard to follow and do so without question. It’s been through my writings here, through my discussions with people that I work with and meet in my day to day life. It’s even been in my own family.

But like Simon, it is through no effort of my own. I’m just letting down my nets just as Jesus instructed Simon to and he’s providing the catch, he’s providing the blessings. And I’ve stated many times, that if through my illness, through my trials even one person comes closer to God, then it was all worth it.

---

When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” Luke5:8

When Simon saw the blessings that Jesus had led them to. He fell to the feet of Jesus.

Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” Luke 5:10

Jesus told Simon and the others, that they would now be fishers of men. Jesus was going to use Simon and the others for his Glory and to bring more people to God.

---

God is using me, he has called me out to be his hands and feet. The sickness gives me a story, something I can relate to others. Something that others can look at me and see how I’m dealing with it and following Jesus.

Simon didn’t question Jesus when he said to go to deeper waters and let the nets down. I don’t intend to question it either.

I’m in the deep waters now, and the deep water can be dark and scary. But I’m here now. I’m letting down my nets and God is blessing me and others through my story.

I’m now a week and half past my first full chemo treatment and praise God I’ve had very few side effects. I realize that I’ve got many more treatments to go and those side effects may come later, but for now I’m enjoying the relative ease that treatment is currently going.

The only real symptom I’ve had and from what I’ve read is present in 80 to 100% of cancer patients in fatigue. Even before my first treatment I was always tired and thought that was the fatigue I was experiencing. Well this past weekend I discovered that there is a definite difference between being tired and fatigue.

Fatigue, especially associated with cancer and it’s treatment, suddenly became real to me. Saturday morning, my exhaustion reached a new level. I was pretty non-functional and I really didn’t care at that point either. I ended up taking a nap for about 3 hours Saturday afternoon, but upon waking felt no better, I slept well Saturday night and woke up Sunday morning feeling just as fatigued as the day before. It has slowly gotten better over the last few days, but it’s still there.

But God has an answer and can heal fatigue. As I’ve been reading and studying more about it, my fatigue while still there has been bearable and I’ve been able to endure it and function through the grace of God.

Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and you will find rest.

Matthew 11:28-29

I’ve been carrying a heavy load the last few months, but God has given me rest.

You, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.

Isaiah 26:3

Because I’m staying firm in my faith and my new purpose that God has given me, I’ve found that peace which really helps through those physically trying times.

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 4:8

When I physically need rest, I know that the Lord is with me, healing me and keeping me safe. He never leaves us and promises to always be with us.

I can assume that I will have more side effects. I assume that my fatigue may not got away and may get worse. But my faith is unwavering. My joy that Christ has chosen me for this mission keeps me going through the tough times. Yes I wish God would take this cup from me. But His will is good and I intend to trust him.

The other day, I was talking with someone at work who was reading through a book that was focused on the story of the prodigal son. As we talked and I thought about the story, I began to think of the older brother of the son that went wayward.

The older brother became angry when their father through a feast when the younger son came back. He told his father, “I’ve been here all these years and never left, but you never through me a party.”

I began to think of my own situation. When I was diagnosed with this cancer, I went through a phase of why me? I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I’ve done everything I was supposed to, but here I am still going through this while I see perfectly healthy people drink and smoke and do all kinds of things. I’ll be honest, it ticked me off.

But I realized that God is using my situation for his good. And while it may sound strange saying this, this diagnosis has actually been a blessing for me. It has changed me fundamentally. It has strengthened my faith. It has given me purpose. It has opened my eyes to where God is working and how he wants me to join him in his work.

God didn’t give me cancer, but he is using it to glorify his name. We read in Luke 22 when Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsamane where he prays;

“My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

Luke 22: 39

Like me, Jesus didn’t want to go through with God’s plan. But he realized that God’s plan is good and that this was his calling.

I don’t want to deal with this disease. But I know that God is using this situation to glorify his name.

This diagnosis has been an unexpected blessing and I intend to see it through fully trusting in God and letting him lead me through this. I see God working already. I see lives being changed (mine included). I pray everyday that my testimony will be used by him to help someone else. I have been blessed beyond belief and this is just part of it, part of who I am, part of my testimony.

God use me and my situation to glorify your name and further your kingdom.