The sermon series that our church has been going through over the last few weeks is entitled: A Questionable Life: Do our lives make others ask why? It’s based off a simple verse in 1 Peter.
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. – 1 Peter 3:15
This week, the topic was “Have a weird marriage.” Right off my wife and I looked at each other and asked if they were talking about us. I want to recap and expand on the sermon as it really got me thinking about my marriage and how the relationship with my wife is seen by my children and others.
Nowadays, the idea of staying married for a lifetime is becoming less the norm than it was in the previous generation. We see so many marriages fail within ten years that our children are learning that it’s OK to get married, have some kids and then when you’re bored with each other, feel free to move on to the next relationship. The days of long term marriage is fading. My wife and I have been married for 22 years and among my family, circle of friends and acquaintances, that is a long time.
We were at a wedding this past spring where they had the marriage dance (or whatever they call it) where all the married couples were invited onto the dance floor. After a few moments the DJ announced, “Those that were married today, please leave the dance floor.” After a few more moments, “Those that have been married for less than 5 years, please leave the dance floor.” This continued on until when the time came for my wife and I to leave there were only three couples left. My parents ended up “winning” by being married for 56 years. What I learned from that was:
- I want what those three couples that were still on the floor after we left had. When looking at those couples, you could see they were not only husband and wife, but indeed best friends. My wife is my best friend and we’ve been together for 25 years in total and I hope to become even closer to her as we move into the second half of our lives.
- I am somewhat saddened by the fact that there were only three left. And many that had left the floor before my wife and I were much older and on their second marriage. I do remember that God hates divorce, but loves divorced people.
We are called to have more than just great marriages, we are called to have significant marriages. A significant marriage is more than just staying together and not hating each other, it’s about an example that the younger generation can see about how marriage works and how God’s love shows through in your marriage. I once had a friend come up to me out of the blue and tell that she watched how my wife and I interacted with each other and what a great marriage we had and how we were an inspiration to her. Others watch. Others see how you look at your wife and how she looks at her husband. They see if you genuinely love each other or not. We are being watched in our marriages.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. – Mark 10:7,8
Have more than just a great marriage, have a significant one.