I’m now a week and half past my first full chemo treatment and praise God I’ve had very few side effects. I realize that I’ve got many more treatments to go and those side effects may come later, but for now I’m enjoying the relative ease that treatment is currently going.
The only real symptom I’ve had and from what I’ve read is present in 80 to 100% of cancer patients in fatigue. Even before my first treatment I was always tired and thought that was the fatigue I was experiencing. Well this past weekend I discovered that there is a definite difference between being tired and fatigue.
Fatigue, especially associated with cancer and it’s treatment, suddenly became real to me. Saturday morning, my exhaustion reached a new level. I was pretty non-functional and I really didn’t care at that point either. I ended up taking a nap for about 3 hours Saturday afternoon, but upon waking felt no better, I slept well Saturday night and woke up Sunday morning feeling just as fatigued as the day before. It has slowly gotten better over the last few days, but it’s still there.
But God has an answer and can heal fatigue. As I’ve been reading and studying more about it, my fatigue while still there has been bearable and I’ve been able to endure it and function through the grace of God.
Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and you will find rest.Matthew 11:28-29
I’ve been carrying a heavy load the last few months, but God has given me rest.
You, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.Isaiah 26:3
Because I’m staying firm in my faith and my new purpose that God has given me, I’ve found that peace which really helps through those physically trying times.
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.Psalm 4:8
When I physically need rest, I know that the Lord is with me, healing me and keeping me safe. He never leaves us and promises to always be with us.
I can assume that I will have more side effects. I assume that my fatigue may not got away and may get worse. But my faith is unwavering. My joy that Christ has chosen me for this mission keeps me going through the tough times. Yes I wish God would take this cup from me. But His will is good and I intend to trust him.